Opening the Doorway to Compassion



 

“Imagine walking along a sidewalk with your arms full of groceries, and someone roughly bumps into you so that you fall and your groceries are strewn over the ground. As you rise up from the puddle of broken eggs and tomato juice, you are ready to shout out, “You idiot! What’s wrong with you? Are you blind?” But just before you can catch your breath to speak, you see that the person who bumped you is actually blind. He, too, is sprawled in the spilled groceries and your anger vanishes in an instant, to be replaced by sympathetic concern: “Are you hurt? Can I help you up?” From Alan Wallace

Are there times when you just want to blast someone for their thoughtlessness? Too often we go through our day without being conscious of what might be going on in another person’s life. It’s only when we take a breath and open our eyes do we clearly realize that the source of disharmony and misery in the world is our own unawareness to the circumstances around us. It's only when we stop looking at what’s wrong with people will we begin to get a glimpse of the truth that opens the doorway to compassion, wisdom and grace.

True we don’t have to tolerate the ignorance of others, but we don’t have to get sucked into it either. Begin to practice a new way of understanding and see how it impacts your sphere of influence.

Make a great day.

Gratitude and Grace

I took an enjoyable walk yesterday with a dear friend. As we walked in a certain section of the park it felt as if we were in a perfectly framed picture of a flawless autumn afternoon.  I could feel the grace of nature all about, I could feel it pouring through me. In this state of grace I felt a deep gratitude for the friendship and the incredible beauty of my surroundings.

Grace is a mystical substance, we don’t have to do anything to get it, it is there in the mystery of life and what makes life  so awesome is that we are all channels for grace.  We don’t have to do anything to earn it. That is why it’s important to stop the internal noise, the mind chatter, pull the plug of our everyday life drop down into the heart and allow grace to flow through us. We don’t have to get grace – it’s already a part of who we are.

Here’s an example of how grace works. How many times have you judged someone harshly and you hear a voice saying, “Don’t go there?” Or you get really angry and you just want to lash out at a family member, a co-worker or the store clerk and that same voice says, “Do you really want to say that?” That’s grace in action – that’s how it operates in your life. It keeps you from doing something harsh and gives you the option of doing something beneficial.

Grace opens the door to gratitude in its purist most beautiful form. The grace of gratitude is love. Brother David Steindl-Rast says; “We grow in love when we grow in gratitude.”  It’s the same with grace; we grow in love when we allow grace to pour through us.

In the past few days I’ve been immersed in gratitude for my family and friends.  I’ve been immersed in gratitude for all the good in my life, even the good that is not yet seen.

Grace gives us the courage to go out and boldly live life and not be frightened of it. Gratitude opens our hearts to that life we are so boldly living.  

Live boldly and make it a great day!

The Joy Factor!

A joyful Spirit is

evidence of a grateful heart.

On my weekly trip to the grocery store I decided to take the scenic route. Rather than travel down a busy three lane highway with traffic signals and one strip mall after another, I took a tree lined country road. The mindless drive I usually take turned into a mini-adventure that was thoroughly enjoyable. I stayed in the moment admiring the scenery; I felt that my life was indeed special and I found joy in the journey. It probably cost me an extra gallon of gas to go to and from the grocery store on that beautiful tree lined country road. Cost $3.25.  Joy factor, extremely high.

How many times in your life have you thought if you had more money, more freedom, more love, more friendships, that you would have more joy and happiness in your life? The truth is that we can choose to experience joy in the present moment. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or take a lot of time. Think about something you can do today to increase your joy factor and invite your friends and family to join in.

Abraham Hicks said, “Reduce your workload by 30% and increase your fun load by 30%. More fun, less struggle—more results on all fronts.”

Put on your dancing shoes and make  a joyful day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NHjUEdiebE

Make a Great Holiday

The Thanksgiving holiday is right upon us. The Food Network is counting down the days until the turkey and all the fixings are on the table and friends and family are experiencing a gastronomical feast. Then Uncle Harry arrives and has had a little too much to drink with Aunt Gladys who has something to say about how inept you are in the kitchen. Your mood can change from I’m glad you’re here to I wish you were somewhere else!

Now, you could let the events that are happening around you dictate how you respond or how you react. You can make it a good day or make it a bad day. Whether it's a major holiday or everyday life you are free to create your own experiences and allow others to create theirs. However, I know in your heart that you want to make it a great day for everyone.

In order to create a comfortable space for everyone you could try the following.

1. Have Harry and Gladys genetically tested to make sure they are your relatives.

2. Set some ground rules. If there are hot topics asked beforehand that these topics not be discussed at the dinner table. Come up with some neutral topics and turn it into a game. If things get a little testy – ask, “What would Mother Theresa say about that?

3. Choose how you will respond. Instead of getting emotional take a breath and say something like, “I  hear you,” or don’t say anything at all.

4. If you need to, give yourself a break and go to another room or go and get some fresh air.

5. No matter how weird things get, see if there’s a way you can find some humor in the day. Turn your guests into cartoon characters. Goofy, Grumpy, etc. (be kind). You can be Lisa Simpson, with your sharp wit and sly observations of the situation.

6. Look for the positive in everything, it’s there believe me.

7. Keep saying out loud, “It’s a good day to be grateful.”

Stand firm in your conviction that you are creating a great day. See it; feel it and you will experience it, no matter what Uncle Harry and Aunt Gladys are up to.

Make a great day.

The Web of Life

I spent most of yesterday in Superior Court listening to convicted felons asking for a pardon or to have their sentences commuted. In most of the cases both the perpetrators and the victims stood before the board and pled their cases. I saw how each person was locked up in the agony of the circumstances, whether they were behind bars or not. The whole courtroom involved in a dance of wanting to be free and everyone and everything was interconnected.

I have long been interested in how we are all interconnected. Chief Seattle said; “Man does not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.” This idea is also communicated in the image of the universe described in the net of the Vedic god Indra. Indra's net is made up of multifaceted jewels and at the tip of each jewel is reflected all of the other jewels. In the Buddhist tradition the myth suggests that we are intimately connected by a net hung by a skilled craftsman. This web stretches infinitely in all directions, with pearls, glittering like stars at each point where the web is connected, reflecting one into another. When Newtonian physics gave way to quantum physics, science gave legitimacy to the interconnectedness of life. 

Philosophically, interconnectedness stands in opposition to separateness which suggests that we are isolated, sovereign, and self-contained. Since western civilization is based on rational thought, materialism, science, economics and a legal system, there is an assumption that the world is composed of discrete units. The idea of interconnectedness rattles the foundations of our whole society. But each one of us are the jewels reflecting into and off of each other, our full selves extending beyond the boundaries of our skin.

Think about a society based on a deep understanding of such interconnectedness, where individuals would be as loathe to hurting their neighbor or the ecosystem as they would be to burning down their houses. Individual behaviors and institutions for the common good that now are maintained through the questionable means of moral persuasion, guilt, and at times force would become outdated. A full understanding of our interconnectedness is just the sort of thing that this suffering planet needs for us to wake up and respect each other.

Giving and Receiving

"The "desire of your heart" is a call to serve humanity. Trust the call and trust the process." Cynthia James

I believe it's inherent within us to have hopes, dreams and desires of a more fulfilling life. As we become more self-actualized, we then want go out into the world and serve humanity.

First we have to be willing to receive the infinite gifts of the universe. What we're willing to receive we must also be willing to give. Think of giving and receiving as one uninterrupted flow, think of it as the circulation of the goodness of the universe. It’s impossible to give without receiving, it's imperative that we do both.

If you're going through life with your fist tightly clenched, it's impossible to receive the gifts of the universe? On the other hand, if you're always giving, giving, giving, you set yourself up to being so busy you’re not able to receive, you may even become bitter or angry, or worse yet, burned out because you're overworked and overextended. It's important to create balance. Think of giving and receiving as one complete uninterrupted flow and open yourself to being a circuit for good. As you give so shall you receive.

Make a great day!

But Wait, There's More!

Most of us have probably seen an infomercial or two when channel surfing late at night. What they have in common as they are enticing us to buy their product is the phrase, "But wait………..there's more!"

Hidden deep within each and every one of us are life-enhancing "products" that we can tap into to help others. Often we don't even know what gifts and talents we have to share and if we do we are sometimes shy about sharing them. The truth is that the more we tap onto our gifts and talents, the more we discover we have, it's as if there's a voice inside exclaiming, "But wait……. there's more!"

It’s important to understand that our gifts and talents are a blessing not only to ourselves but to other's. Think about what you have to offer. If this is a stretch find one thing that you’re good at and listen for the voice deep within you saying, "But wait, there's more."

The Kitchen Table Summit

Today is Veterans Day in the United States,  a day we honor those who have served in the Armed Forces. My father served in Germany in World War II. I have his dog tags and my mother has a plaque from the Battle of the Bulge. There are a few letters and other memorabilia, but dad forever kept the unspeakable memories locked within his soul.  

Tens of thousands of men and women have served in the military since then. The world has become smaller; we are now allies with former enemies and enemies with former allies. Today I'm thinking not only of those who served in the United States but of the men and women from other parts of the world who have answered the call to serve.

Twelve years after World War II ended, a German family moved into our comfy little neighborhood in Southern New Jersey. They had a daughter my age and we fast became friends. We didn't know our fathers were once fierce enemies; we were too young to know about a war that devastated millions of people's lives and we had no reference point.  The day came when our fathers sat down at our kitchen table. I don't know what they talked about, but my father realized and shared with me that they had the same concerns, the same fears. That day at the “Kitchen Table Summit,” they understood that there wasn't much difference between them, they both had shown courage and perseverance in the face of a great challenge and they both wanted to put it all behind them and live in peace.

In silent tribute, let’s pause and remember those, who in service to humankind, have sacrificed their lives and pray for goodwill and peace on earth as a lasting tribute to their sacrifice.

Bad Potato!

Somewhere in my travels I heard a story about a woman who ordered a baked potato while out with her friends in one of those fancy New Jersey diners. When she got her order something didn't seem right. She called the waitress and said, "This potato is bad." The waitress picked up a knife and smacked the potato! Setting the knife down she said, "Let me know if that potato gives you any more trouble!"

Humans tend to categorize people, places and things as good or bad, but the truth is, that what is good for one person may not be good for another. When we say that such and such is bad, it becomes our reality, just try and get a five year old to eat cauliflower. The child's reality is that cauliflower is really, really bad and there isn't anything that will change his or her mind.

When we watch the news or read the newspaper you'd think the world was falling apart. Sure there are horrific stories that can be backed by facts. But more often than not, most of what we hear or read is someone's spin on a story. It's an opinion! How we perceive it is up to us.

Wayne Dyer said, "You feel good not because the world is right, but your world is right because you feel good." There are many ways you can feel good in the midst of something you perceive as bad. Your day can go a little better because a stranger said a kind word to you, or because you found a kind word to say to a grocery store clerk who  is having a tough day. Your world can be right because you found a deep lesson in your pain or you let go of a situation that was holding you back. Your world is right because hidden in everything is the seed of perfection.

Whatever your mood today, whatever the circumstances, whether you are trying to balance your checkbook or shadowing despair,  find within yourself that seed of perfection. Now allow that seed to take hold in your consciousness and see how your life begins to turn around.

Zero Visibility

I woke up very early this morning; the world was dark and deliciously quiet, a calmness a came over me and everything just felt right. As the light slowly began to appear I noticed that it was very foggy outside my window and I could hardly see across the street. I turned on the news to see what the weather would be today and for the moment we were experiencing zero visibility.

As I drank my morning cup of tea, I thought about the areas of my life where I have had, or currently experience zero visibility. The reason may be that I either shut down my brain, my emotions, or because I am not paying attention to my environment.

When trying to navigate in zero visibility we shut down to the possibilities in our lives because we just can't see beyond the confines of living in a “zero visibility” world. There is no freedom of movement and we face a monochromatic existence where the vibrant colors of our lives are impossible to see.

What happens when the sun breaks through? The fog is lifted and the landscapes of our lives are no longer covered in a mist of bewilderment. We can then navigate through the clarity of our thoughts and emotions and begin to open up to the many possibilities that lay ahead.

Consider the areas in your life that are hidden in the fog of your perceptions and just for this moment, see where there is an opening, step into it and cherish the clarity your new found vision brings.

Time Well Spent

Driving to my mother’s yesterday, I was in awe of the fall foliage and how nature presents herself in all her magnificence. We had plans to go to lunch and drove a little further north where autumn had played itself out with fallen leaves and winter peaked around the corner with patches of snow.

Sitting along the Delaware River we celebrated the fact that nature fulfills itself in divine patterns, the ebb and flow of the tides as well as the ebb and flow of our lives. Our afternoon together was a time of reflection and deep sharing with the realization that no matter what happened in the past, we have lived blessed lives.

The key to living a blessed life is giving from your heart. As you begin to move into the holidays, think of someone you would like to spend some time with. Set aside an afternoon in the middle of the week, turn off your cell phone and simply be with that person. Give of your spirit with a generosity of the heart and you’ll discover that gift of time you are giving to the other person is actually a gift you are giving to yourself.

When you return from your visit, allow yourself to be immersed in appreciation for those in your life who bring you joy, peace, pleasure and love.